I met this one girl on there that so far has proven to be a very interesting person and we share a lot in common, I think she's a great find and I can't wait to spend some time with her and get to know her better.
However, as I write this from my couch in the dark, whilst listening to my ever-increasing Pink Floyd catalog; I can't help but think about my situation and how I could be allowing myself to develop such a strong interest and a solid base for which I could grow feelings for someone that I haven't even met yet.
I think these days I tend to place more value in internet communication than I do with face to face exchanges. At the same time I still yearn for the kind of closeness that only the physical realm can provide, but I want to connect and I want to feel comfortable talking about things I wouldn't normally think of talking about and I have a great inability doing this in person.
A guided tour into someone's mind; that's how I perceive it. The ability to lay out your thoughts with the convenience of a backspace button. That's what my physical life is missing.
All of that is grand of course, being comfortable, sharing your thoughts with another person worry-free over a "safe" and direct medium. However, it is dangerous and for me especially. I allow myself to get excited about the prospect that I am able to feel on the level with people I haven't really had the chance to truly get to know. I knowingly and willingly put myself out there to be hurt and abused.
It's paradoxical, I can't make sense of it... Perhaps I'm an internet masochist or maybe I'm just waiting for that one person that'll respond in kind. Who knows.. I certainly do not.
It's all just another trip down the nonsensical bread crumb trail into the shallow depths of my mind.
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